What Good Coaching Looks Like

You drop your kid off at practice. The coach blows a whistle. Kids run around. An hour later, you pick them up.

Was that a good practice? Should you be happy? Concerned? How would you even know?

Most parents don't have a framework for evaluating coaching. They rely on vague feelings ("the coach seems nice") or outcomes ("we won the game"). But good coaching isn't about being nice, and it's definitely not just about winning.

Good coaching is observable. You should be able to see it, even if you've never coached a day in your life.

The Four Pillars of Good Coaching

Here's what to look for. These aren't abstract ideals. They're concrete, observable behaviors you can spot from the sideline.

1. Structure & Planning

What it looks like: Practice has a clear plan. The coach knows what they're teaching before kids arrive. Drills have a purpose. Transitions between activities are smooth.

Red flags: Coach shows up without a plan. Kids stand around waiting. "Just scrimmage" fills most of practice time. No progression from week to week.

💡 Ask your coach: "What's the focus for practice this week?" Good coaches can answer immediately.

2. Clear, Specific Feedback

What it looks like: Coach tells kids what to do andwhy. Feedback is constructive and actionable. Kids understand what they're supposed to improve.

Red flags: Vague praise ("good job!") or vague criticism ("try harder!"). Coach yells but doesn't teach. Kids look confused after instruction.

💡 Listen for specifics: "Bend your knees on defense" is coaching. "Play better D!" is not.

3. Development Over Winning

What it looks like: All kids get meaningful playing time. Coach rotates positions so players can learn. Mistakes are treated as learning opportunities, not failures. The focus is on long-term improvement, not just next week's game.

Red flags: Only the "best" kids play. Weak players get benched in close games. Coach prioritizes winning over skill development, especially at young ages (U8-U12).

💡 Age matters: At U8-U12, development should be 90% of the focus. By high school, winning becomes more relevant, but even then good coaches balance both.

4. Communication & Consistency

What it looks like: Coach communicates expectations clearly to kids and parents. Schedule, playing time philosophy, and team rules are transparent. Coach is consistent in how they treat players.

Red flags: Last-minute schedule changes. Parents don't know the playing time policy. Coach plays favorites. No communication between coach and families.

💡 Good coaches proactively communicate. You shouldn't have to chase them down for basic information.

Where This Framework Has Limits

These four pillars are a strong baseline, but they're not absolute. Here's where nuance matters:

High school varsity is different

At the varsity level, winning becomes more relevant. Playing time may not be equal. Competitive stakes are higher. That doesn't mean development stops mattering, but the balance shifts. A varsity coach who plays mostly seniors isn't necessarily "bad" if they're also developing underclassmen through JV and practice reps.

Coaching styles vary

Some great coaches are quiet and analytical. Others are loud and intense. Personality and style aren't the same as quality. What matters is whether they're teaching, developing players, and communicating clearly, not whether they fit a certain mold.

Volunteer coaches deserve grace

Many youth coaches are volunteers with little formal training. They're giving their time. If a volunteer coach is trying hard, showing up, and treating kids well, that deserves respect even if they're not perfect. The framework above is an ideal to work toward, not a reason to vilify well-meaning volunteers.

What About Winning?

Winning is fun. Kids like winning. But here's the truth: good coaching often leads to winning over time, not because the coach prioritized wins, but because they built skilled, confident players.

A team that goes 10-2 because the coach only plays their top five kids might feel great this season. But three years later, half the team has quit because they never got to play.

A team that goes 6-6 but rotates players, teaches fundamentals, and builds confidence? Those kids stick with sports. They improve. And by high school, they're dominating.

How to Use This as a Parent

Observe a few practices. Don't just drop off and leave. Watch how the coach runs things.
Ask your child specific questions. "What did you work on today?" "Did the coach explain why you were doing that drill?" If they can't answer, that's a sign.
Talk to the coach early. Ask about their coaching philosophy, playing time approach, and practice structure. Good coaches will be happy to explain.
Trust your gut, but verify. If something feels off (favoritism, lack of communication, kids standing around), it probably is. Use this framework to assess whether it's worth addressing or finding a new program.

Bottom Line

Good coaching isn't magic. It's not about charisma or winning records. It's about structure, feedback, development, and communication.

You don't need to be a coach to spot these things. You just need to know what to look for.

Your kid deserves a coach who shows up with a plan, teaches with clarity, prioritizes their growth, and communicates openly. That's the standard. Anything less, and you have every right to ask questions or find a better fit.

What Good Coaching Looks Like (and What Parents Should Expect)